


Missed You

by LegionofShadowhunters



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Can you tell I don't know what I'm doing, F/M, First Time, Getting Together, slight praise kink
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-05
Updated: 2017-06-05
Packaged: 2018-11-09 14:21:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11106369
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LegionofShadowhunters/pseuds/LegionofShadowhunters
Summary: Jace and Clary's first time having sex together. Shadowhunters universe.





	Missed You

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time writing sex/smut, so I know it's not the best. You can't say I didn't try though.

The walls in the residential parts of the institute were thing enough that even if Jace had been asleep he would have heard Clary’s cries. The pure panic he heard coming from her got him out of bed and out the door. His instincts kicked in, and he was standing in her doorway, looking into the darkness of her room, before he could give it a second thought.

He could still hear her distraught mutterings in the dark. “Clary?” Jace whispered. He felt around the wall for a light switch when he didn’t get a response. When the light in the corner came on it lit the room enough he could see Clary’s bright hair among the messy sheets. “Clary,” he said a little louder as he shut the door behind him. 

This time Clary sat up in her bed and looked around the room, complete panic written across her face. “Jace? Jace, what are you doing in here?” She did her best to get her expression under control, but Jace knew whatever stress from her nightmare had carried over now that she was awake. Her eyes stayed a little too wide and she kept looking at the corners of the room like he taught her in training. 

“I, uh, heard you from my room. You sounded upset, so I thought I should come check on you. Do you want to talk about it?” Jace had his fair share of nightmares to know talking about them never did anything. He found the best thing to do was try to forget about them as quickly as possible.

Clary pulled her legs up under the covers and wrapped her arms around her knees. One hand came up to push the hair out of her face. She looked exhausted and defeated. Jace knew those feelings well. “I don’t know.” She shook her head like she was trying to dismiss whatever upset her. “Just a bad dream. You don’t need to worry. You can go back to your room.”

He started taking slow steps further into the room. “You know that lie is a lot more convincing on someone who’s never used it.” Clary looked up at him warily. This close he could see the purple circles forming under her eyes and the light sheen of sweat on her forehead. 

This was as fragile as he’d ever seen her look. Jace wanted to fix it. Whatever happened in her dream he wanted to protect her from it, but he was just standing there in the middle of her bedroom just as helpless. 

Jace knew how he felt when he was on her end of things. He hated being pushed and hated feeling under a microscope. He didn’t want to talk, but he didn’t want to be alone either. He never understood why people thought that leaving him alone with his thoughts was a good idea just because he didn’t want to talk to them. 

He spotted a chair between the door and the bed. The jacket Clary had been wearing earlier was crumpled on the seat. “We don’t have to talk. I can just sit in here for a little while.” He stepped towards the chair tentatively.

“Jace,” he looked up at her. Clary turned the comforters at the edge of the bed down. “You can sit over here.”

For a moment, he couldn’t get his feet to move towards the bed. When he did he kept one foot firmly planted on the floor. It kept him from feeling too much like he was invading her personal space. 

He promised no speaking, so Jace played with the drawstring of his sweats for something to do. He really wished he had grabbed a shirt on his way out of his room. It wasn’t that Clary’s room was any colder than his, it just didn’t feel appropriate.

“Why weren’t you asleep?” Clary’s voice sounded small from behind him. 

Jace thought about making a crack about the no talking agreement, but when he looked over his shoulder to see raw look on her face he decided against it. “Same reason you woke up.” It almost felt like a confession. He treaded carefully when he continued. “It’s easier to feel safe when someone is with you. They kind of keep you in reality.” He looked down at the where he was wrapping the drawstring around his finger.

“You sound like you know what you’re talking about,” She noted. 

Telling her that he’d been having nightmares on and off since he was ten didn’t seem helpful. “I know about a lot of things.”

Clary must have been able to tell he was hiding something, but instead of asking him to explain, she scooted over to sit on the edge next to him. She looped her arm through his and rest her head on his shoulder. “Thank you for staying.” 

“If you need me, I’ll be there,” Jace said simply. He rested his chin on her head and let her trace the runes on his forearm. 

The whole moment felt too intimate for two friends. He felt like he should say something, but he didn’t want to risk her moving away from him. He didn’t want to push her away any more. He just hoped that she felt the same way. The possibility that she didn’t stung. 

Clary pulled her head away and looked up at Jace, their faces only a few inches apart. For a brief moment he let himself believe that he could still see feelings for him in her expression. After that he cleared his throat and looked down at where her hand had stopped on his arm, right at his wrist.

“I should head back to my room.” Jace took his arm back and stood up off the bed. He couldn’t stay in here if she was going to look at him like that. “You need to try and get some sleep. I’ll see you in the morning.” He didn’t look at her as he stood up. 

He made it half to the door before he heard Clary say his name. He hadn’t heard her get out of the bed. 

Clary turned him around and pressed her lips against his with bruising force. Her hand came up to cup his jaw and pull him closer. He was in too much shock to fully enjoy having her so close, but his eyes closed on instinct. It took him a moment to react and kiss her back, moving his hands to rest on her waist.

In the same moment, the annoying, self-preserving voice in the back of his head told him this wasn’t a good idea. He knew the difference between a kiss that was just a kiss, and a kiss that was leading to more. This one was leading towards much more. He had a few casual hook-ups in the past, but this was entirely new territory. Such strong, complicated emotions had never been factored into the equation before, and it terrified him. 

“Clary,” he sighed into her mouth, “Do you really think this is a good idea?”

She didn’t look him in the eye when she answered. She almost seemed chastised. “If you want to pretend like this never happened, I get it. But I don’t want to pretend like I don’t still feel something for you.” It all came out in an unconfident rush. “I still want you.”

He couldn’t believe it. He hadn’t been fooling himself, he really had seen his own feelings reflected back at him. Jace cupped her face in his hands and forced her to look at him. “I’m always going to want you, Clary Fray.” He pulled her back in for a rough kiss. If he was going to get this one good thing out of all of the terrible stuff that had happened he wasn’t going to waste it. 

Clary licked along his lips until he parted them for her. Jace tried to duck his head a little lower to deepen the kiss even more, but Clary was already pulling him down by the back of his neck. 

The urgency behind the kiss on both sides felt familiar, like the first time she kissed him. Jace was thankful for the frantic edge. The last few weeks he had trouble of keeping track of reality. He couldn’t tell if it was the lack of sleep or if it was a whole new side effect of his recent traumas. She kept him on his toes and forced him to keep up. This was grounding in way he wouldn’t have thought possible. 

He started walking her back towards her bed with slow purposeful steps. When Clary’s knees hit the edge of the bed Jace let her go so she could fall back on her pillows. She caught his wrist and pulled him down next to her. 

It didn’t take long for the two of them to build back up to the original intensity. Jace couldn’t get enough of her. Every move he made only served the purpose of getting her closer. His hands pressed her body as close to his as possible. Clary’s hands slid up Jace’s arms, lingering on the muscles in his shoulders. Her fingernails dug into the skin of his shoulder blades until he groaned into Clary’s mouth. 

Jace slid his hand down Clary’s side until he could grip her thigh. He gave her a gentle squeeze and hooked her leg over his, a move that managed to get them even closer than they were before. Clary hummed her approval against his lips.

The new position allowed him to move his leg between hers, and Clary took full advantage. One roll of her hips had both of them moaning. It was just the right angle for both of them. Jace was already half hard and he got just enough friction 

The two of them parted to catch their breaths, and Jace ducked his head to kiss Clary’s neck. She tilted her head back to give him more room. “Jace,” She sighed. He took the hint and moved his hand from her back to her stomach, stroking the soft skin above her waistband. “Please,” she begged. 

Jace couldn’t remember the last time he hesitated in bed. Making out and dry humping was one thing, but this was dangerously close to a point of no return. “Are you sure?” 

She nodded and pulled him in for another kiss. He let his fingers dip into her sweats and down the front of her panties until he hit the growing wet spot in the fabric. Clary ground her hips down into his fingers before he could even get started. “Someone’s eager,” He teased as he rubbed her through the fabric. 

Clary’s grip on the back of his neck tightened. When the first whimper left her lips he took it as his cue to pushed the fabric aside and rub his thumb over her clit. He slowly pushed a finger inside and relished in the pleasureful sounds she made. 

“You know I think that you might be wearing too many clothes,” He muttered into her ear. He pulled his fingers out of her and her pants earning him a disapproving groan from Clary. “Patience.” Jace tugged at the hem of her shirt until she gave in and sat up for him to pull it over her head. He tossed it to the edge of the bed and let her lay back down. 

Jace leaned above her, kissing a straight line down from her lips. He lingered at the hallow of her throat and continued down between her breasts. Clary combed her fingers into his hair as he made his way down her body, leaving a trail of wet kisses down to her waist band. 

He hooked his fingers under the waist band at her hips. He looked up at her after pressing one last soft kiss below her belly button. She was watching him with half lidded eyes, and the hand that wasn’t in his hair was combing her own back. Her cheeks were flushed, and her lips were red and swollen. Jace tried not feel proud of the fact that he was the reason she looked so wrecked. He failed. 

“This okay?” he whispered. He smiled against her skin as he continued, “We can stop at any-“

“So help me god Jace, please just let me cum, “ Clary whined. 

He knew he was being a tease, but he kind of liked making her beg. “Well when you put it that way,” Jace let his sentence trail off while he peeled her sweats and underwear off her. His fingers grazed her soft skin as he come back up to rest between her legs. 

Clary knotted her fingers back into his hair, and Jace placed one of her legs over his shoulder. He left long lingering kisses on the inside of her thigh. When he finally put his mouth were she really wanted him, Clary tightened her grip on his hair and let out a satisfied sigh. 

If Jace thought she had been wet before, she was dripping now. All he could taste was Clary on his tongue and he couldn’t get enough. He licked and sucked at her clit until her hips started bucking into his mouth. Jace held her hips to the bed, and started grinding his own into the mattress. The whines and whimpers escaping Clary’s lips were making his erection almost painful. He needed some friction to keep him at bay a little longer. 

He was confident in his ability to restrain her hips with one hand to bring the other down and get to work. Jace pressed one finger into Clary’s wet heat to push her even closer to the edge. It took a few thrusts with one finger before he added a second. After that it was a matter of seconds before Clary came, back arching of the bed as she lost herself.

Her fingers loosened in his hair as her orgasm faded. Jace let Clary’s leg fall back onto the bed as he sat up. He licked his fingers to get them clean and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. For a long moment, he sat back and took in the sight laid out before him. 

Clary’s eyes were tightly shut and her mouth was agape in lingering pleasure. He could make out teeth marks in her lower lip from where she had been biting at it. Her orange curls fanned out over her pillow, framing her blissful expression. She was fucking gorgeous. 

Jace crawled up to lay down next her as she worked on catching her breath. With gentle fingers, he brushed hair away from her neck and pressed soft kisses to the healing rune he had drawn on her the night they met. He cupped the other side of her face wit his hand and let his thumb brush along her jaw. “Still okay?” he murmured into her ear. 

“Great,” she sighed, “So, so great.” Clary turned her head to meet his lips and they found themselves caught up in another kiss. The urgency from before was gone but there was a certain sweetness left that made Jace’s chest ache. Clary was the one to break it off, much to Jace’s disappointment. 

When he opened his eyes he was surprised—and admittedly a little frightened—at the mischievous spark in her eyes. “Your turn.” She gave him a quick chaste kiss before rolling away. “Pants off, Wayland.”

She leaned over the edge of the bed to rifle through her nightstand drawer. At first Jace was frozen with confusion at the bossy tone and the order itself but became distracted by the dark lines of runes curving across her shoulder blades. The shapes moved as the muscles in her back shifted. He wanted to trace the runes with his mouth, wit his tongue. He was so lost in his own miniature fantasy, that it took him a beat to long to realize she was looking for a condom. _Fuck._

Jace scrambled to pull his sweatpants and boxer briefs off. He tossed them off the bed just as Clary turned back to face him, foil package in hand. “Can I do the honors or do you want to do it?” Her eyes flickered down to his swollen cock as if he hadn’t gotten her meaning.

He sat up to take the packet from her fingers and got close enough that the tips of their noses brushed together. “I probably should do it. The second you touch me I’m a goner.” Clary laughed, probably thinking he was kidding. As embarrassing as it was, Jace was pretty sure he wasn’t going to be able to last long. “Also I can’t decide if you calling touching my dick an honor cute or weird.” 

Clary giggled again, by the angel how he loved that sound. “I’ll keep that in mind for the next time,” she said and gave him a quick kiss on the lips. Next time echoed in his head. Jace reached out and tucked her hair back behind her ear. Clary smiled and leaned into the slight touch. There would be another night when he would get to be this close with her. He’d get to touch her like this again. 

Jace tore the packet open and put the condom on as Clary watched impatiently, head resting on his shoulder. When he was done she pressed his shoulders back until he was flat on his back. In the same swift move she straddled his hips, staying up on her knees. She leaned down just enough that her hair fell around his face. The position almost felt familiar except they were usually wearing more clothes. 

She had the same determined expression on her face she had when they were training. Confident, a little stubborn and eager. The small smile turning up the corners of her mouth just a little. He wondered for a moment if she knew she did that little smile, or if she knew how much he loved it. 

Clary tilted her head to the side, confusion working it’s way onto her features. “Is something funny?” 

Jace hadn’t realized he was smiling. “No,” he shook his head, “You’re just cute when you’re focused.” He reached up and cupped the back of her head so he could bring her down for a kiss. 

After a long moment they pulled apart. “Ready?” Clary asked. 

“Do you really have to ask?” The massive erection he was sporting felt like an obvious answer. 

Clary sat up and braced herself by placing her hands flat on his abdomen. Jace slid his hands up her thighs to rest on her hips. She took a deep breath before sinking down onto him. Her tight heat was exactly what he needed. “Fuck,” the swear fell out of his mouth before he could stop it. 

He shut his eyes and tilted his head back. He willed himself with every ounce of self control he had not to cum. Clary took mercy on him and didn’t move. After a long moment she leaned down to place a light kiss on his cheek. 

“You’re so beautiful,” She whispered in his ear. The tenderness behind her words surprised him. He was even more surprised by the soft moan the compliments elicited. Jace slid his hands up her back, and pulled her tighter. Anything to keep her close to him. 

He turned his head so he could meet her lips with his own. The sweetness from a few moments before came back, and Jace couldn’t get enough of it. Clary started moving her hips at an agonizing pace, until Jace couldn’t take it anymore. 

Jace started thrusting up into her until they had to break up their kiss. “You feel so good,” Clary muttered against his cheek. It was enough to finally push him over the edge with Clary not far behind. 

-o.0.o-

Only two hours had passed when Jace woke up. Clary’s head rested on his chest with her hand over his heart. She had fallen asleep half way through tracing the angelic rune there. He placed a kiss on her forehead, and buried his face in the frizzy curls of her hair. 

Usually this was Jace’s time to exit. Slip out from under whatever girl he had slept with, quietly gotten dressed, and out the door he’d go. No uncomfortable conversation where they exchanged phone numbers and both pretended that one of them would call. He just left feelings satisfied and dealt with his own self-loathing later. 

He didn’t find himself dreading the morning, he was actually eager for it. He wanted to hear Clary’s morning voice and see how messed up her pillow made her hair. Jace just wanted to lay there and talk to her. For a couple hours he wanted to pretend like they didn’t have any other responsibilities. They had been pushed apart enough already. 

Clary shifted in her sleep and sighed. Her eyes fluttered open and she lifted her head to look at him. “I can hear you thinking,” she said before lowering her head back to his chest. “Did I not tire you out enough?”

Jace smiled and used his fingers to draw circles on the bare skin of her torso. “No, you tired me out alright. Believe it or not this is the best sleep I’ve gotten in weeks,” he confessed. 

“Glad I could help.” Clary picked up tracing the runes ons his chest again. The tip of her finger tickled a little just as she lightly grazed the skin. 

They laid in silence for a long moment while Jace debated the next thing he said. “Clary?” She made a happy, content noise to tell him she was listening. He took a deep breath and tapped his fingers on her side in the pattern of one of his piano scales. At the last second he chickened out. “I just really missed you the last few weeks.” Even the watered down confession felt like he was admitting too much.

Clary hesitated before saying, “I really missed you too.” She almost sounded disappointed.


End file.
